I write here so that I don't feel tempted saying this things to you. I still have no ideia how our story started to be quite honest, and also don't know if it's done, or if it's still on, or whatever. We have decided our status- friends who love each other but have a hard time being apart of each other if they're something else- quite big hum? All of this because we live at 330km apart from each other, and we met online, and it should been easy cause all along we knew what we were up too, we knew the distance would always be a barrier. But it's not like that. We were together twice. The second time was a few weeks ago and if a weekend could be perfect, that was the one. I woke up every single day at 6am to pick up the train at 7am to go be with him, and everyone should know that i JUST don't wake up early. And guess what? I did, and I always woke up in a good mood, whiling to risk some good hours of sleep to be with him. Worth it. Every single second, it was perfect. He asked me to be his girlfriend, of course I said yes!! Sunday was the last day, 24th of April. We said goodbye, I read a letter that he wrote me (which i could only read when i was no longer with him), and i cried and cried for miles... I guess in the following week I started picking up some differences in his behaviour, but I denied to believe, "He's probably just focused in school" i thought to myself. Up until the day where he said "can i call you?", he did. We kind of broke up that day for some stuff he repented doing, but I forgave him, I just love that boy that much. One week later, another wednesday. The question marks in his head started being too much, and he questioned himself if he could go on like this for much longer, being apart from me, not knowing when we would be together again, not receiving affection, it's hard i know, he thought of that every single day as well, but my feelings for him were (are) too intense. So we talked, i cried- thank god you didn't saw that- and "we" decided to not be girlfriend and boyfriend, hurts too much not being with each other for weeks and weeks. We continue talking, we talk about our day, but for me, there'll be always be missing something, i miss reading those "i love you" and "sleep tight my love, love you so much", and now it's all like "cya tomorrow, kisses". It isn't enough for me, and sorry for wanting more, it's just the way I am. I put on a costume every single day when i talk to you, I have to pretend that i don't wanna say sweet things to you, i have to pretend that it doesn't hurt when I remember when things were ok. I guess I just have to content myself with I can get. I still believe we'll have our chance, just wait and see :)